Want to be better at flirting? Want to flirt like a pro and take the cutie from the bar home with you? After extensive field research and experimentation, I’ve compiled the four best flirting techniques and advice on each. Read below to find out.
The traditional flirt is the girl who counts on men to take the lead and make the major moves.
They will act interested (but not too interested) and make subtle hints for a guy to go forward. They may “give him a challenge” by softly rejecting a man’s advances once or twice before showing actual interest. She’s modest, she’s shy, and demure. The traditional flirt can be most often seen in fairytales and 1950s American sock-hops.
While some may argue that traditional flirting is outdated, I think this style can be incredibly effective. After all, it’s how women had been getting laid for centuries.
Ways to channel the traditional flirt:
- Flash a bashful smile or two
- Make wide eyes
- Show inward-facing body language
- Bat your eyelashes
- Thank them for their flattery
The playful flirt is the drunk sorority girl at the bar who is twirling her hair and sending winky face emojis. She’s the polar opposite of the traditional flirt and has no trouble expressing her interest off of the bat. She’s confident, she’s fun, and most of all, she’s very direct. She knows what (or who) she wants and she’s making it clear to everybody in that room that she’s going to get it.
This type of flirt is one of the most effective simply because she is the most direct. There’s no ambiguity in what she wants. If she fails in getting it, she fails quickly and therefore has time to move onto her next object of interest.
Ways To Channel Your Inner Playful Flirt
- Make a LOT of eye contact
- Engage in some light touching (playing footsie, putting your head on his shoulder, etc.)
- Say a suggestive comment or two
- Flatter them
- Do what my friend Claire does and start all of your OKCupid conversations with: “Hey, wanna bang???”
The sarcastic flirt can best be defined as a tease. She calls men out on their cheesy
and overused pickup lines and questions them at every possible corner. Like the traditional flirt, she may reject a man’s advances before showing genuine interest. Also, like the traditional flirt, her body language and tone may not necessarily match her words.
In my own research in the lab and the field, I tend to rely heavily on sarcastic flirting. Battling it out in a game of wits can be fun and passionate. And if a guy can’t handle a gentle bit of sarcasm I figure, he’s not worth my time.
Please note, however, that the mockery has limits. A good sarcastic flirt would never mock somebody for something they might actually be insecure about. She should only make a man wonder: Is she kidding? Is she actually a bitch? Will I ever know?
Ways To Channel Your Inner Sarcastic Flirt
- Mimic or mock him
- Insinuate that he is one of the many men who want to date you
- Imply that he is a child
- Stereotype them (EX: “You’re from France? I’m surprised you’re not miming during this conversation”).
To a certain extent, we are all sincere flirts. Even the biggest sharks among us will sometimes break down our barriers.
Sincere flirting is just that – Sincere. Unlike many of the other flirts, the sincere flirt doesn’t put on an act. She focuses less on “flirting” and more on making a genuine connection. She doesn’t play games or stupid mind tricks. She just talks to every person as an individual and lets things happen organically.
Depending on how oblivious the man in question is, the sincere flirt will sometimes have to make a little effort to let him that she wants to be more than friends. But most of the time, if a connection is there, it will be obvious.
Ways To Channel Your Inner Sincere Flirt
- Find common interests and have authentic conversations
- Get to know them – Skip the small talk and go straight to the good stuff
- Smile and make decent eye contact
- Don’t treat it like a game
- Consider throwing in some hair-twirling or light physical touching to let them know you want to be more than a friend
And there you have it – The four best ways to flirt! While the flirting technique (or combination of techniques) that you use will vary by person/mood, being confident and respectful applies to every type. If you’re flirting with a guy and he’s not into it, don’t sweat it. You’re a hot ticket and plenty of other people will notice. Just do what I always do and move on
by sleeping with his significantly hotter brother.*
Thanks so much!
I’ll see you all on Friday!
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*I’M NOT SORRY PIERRE.
Bena note: Since I am a straight/cis-gendered woman and I’m speaking from experience, I’ve aimed the article at those people. Please note not all boys like girls and not all girls like boys. And some people don’t even identify with a gender! I just wanted to simplify the piece. 🙂